Romantic movies used to give me a sense of discrimination based on gender. In most of the movies there is a guy who loves that girl and tries to win her heart and at the end of the move he finally does it and becomes happy. Although the story tries to say that they both lived happily ever after you can not help but notice that the main focus of the story is the happiness of the guy, with little emphasis on the girl who is considered a prize to be won by most romantic movies.
These thoughts do not attack me when I watch a movie for Drew Barrymore and Adam Sandler. Since their first movie together “the wedding singer”, then “50 first dates”, and finally their latest “blended”, there are two parallel stories that put equal emphasis on both of their lives, problems, pains, dilemmas, and finally they both find out that their happiness in each other’s arms.
Now this is the kind of romance that I call “fair”. And I reflect on real life with good feelings towards my wife (yes I am a guy, and yes we exist) after watching any of the three movies above. This kind of fair romance is the one I want for my daughters in their relationships.
The most important thing about a successful relationship from my perspective is fairness. A balance between the needs, desires, ambitions, and dreams of both the boy and the girl should exist. And it’s easy to achieve considering that most of the needs and desires are common between them anyway, and if they get to know one another before marriage they can figure out if their dreams and ambitions could be shared or not.
Things come up and circumstances change, and only fair love can help a relationship continue to navigate through life.
Also the kids who will grow in this environment of love and fairness will learn the two most important characteristics humans need these days.